Oh dear. I’m rather depressed today. The reason? I’ve had two women on separate occasions say that I remind them of camp comic Alan Carr. I’m alarmed for four reasons:
- He’s as camp as a Millets warehouse
- He’s got a face that only his mother could love. And even then he was probably spoonfed with a catapult
- He’s got a tortured estuary English accent – and I thought I’d shrugged off my Medway roots
- He’s – er - rather ‘stocky’
This is possibly even more depressing than a run of being compared with Van Den Puup, the fictional design ponce in IKEA adverts a few years ago. I could at least put that down to my shortlived penchant for flat caps and glasses. Jesus, even Emily got in on the act with that one – using Van Den Puup’s photo when my number came up on her mobile.
The other comparison I get fairly frequently is Jack Black. This happened again last night. It’s usually accompanied by an explanation that it’s not because I share his body-shape – it’s because I’m funny like him. Now I think Jack Black is a charismatic and talented man – but I think I have enough self-knowledge to realise that the comparison is due to the fact we’re both –er – rather ‘stocky’.
Well, my self-esteem can take no more – I’ve resolved to lose weight. Indeed I’m off to the gym! I’ll chart my progress with excruciating honesty on this blog – beginning with a weigh-in and induction tomorrow.
2 comments:
I thought you were Alan Carr! - I've only been hanging out with you on the offchance I'd get to meet that hairy Cornish fella - he's far funnier than you.
Ohhh, there's something hard and throbbing under my desk - yes, that's right, it's my topical thermometer!
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