Regime Change in the Kingdom of Stan

Complete and utter chaos. That’s the only way to describe the state of our house at the moment. I suppose it’s a part of baby-rearing that I’d forgotten – when there’s a newborn to be fed, changed, bathed and coddled, it’s hard to stay on top of everything else. Things are harder now that I’m back at work, as I’m too knackered to pick up on this stuff in the evening. It’s telling that the tidiest room in the house is Mila and Frankie’s!

As I pick my way past random piles of clothes, bowls, newspapers, remote controls and baby paraphernalia, I try to remember what it was like to walk through the living room without the risk of injury. I think it’s my fault – as the semi-independent creature in the kingdom of Stan, I have the freedom to clean. Whereas, as primary food production unit, his mother is physically enslaved by the tyrant baby. We’re beginning to wonder whether feeding on demand and picking Stan up as soon as he utters a squawk is producing this tyranny. However, the advice of child experts such as Gina Ford (basically, leave babies to cry so they know who’s boss) seems too harsh.

I have a feeling that we’ll be warming to the hardline parenting doctrine before long though. Hopefully this will lead to peaceful regime change, but I bloody doubt it.